Parenting Coordinators International, PCI
How Parenting Coordination Works
High
Conflict Situations
When
working with very high conflict families, some of the things that a parenting
coordinator can do are:
Ø
objectively
assess the situation to;
o
ensure
safety,
o
evaluate
areas of concern, and
o
begin
identifying potential solutions,
Ø
promote
the well being of all family members,
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"It is widely known that a hard-fought custody battle between two parents can become adversarial, antagonistic and hostile.
One of the small ironies of these battles is that it is rarely the big, life-altering issues that cause the greatest amount of
conflict. It is the constant stream of everyday logistical decisions that provide the unending fuel for the fire. Parents are
more likely to be at each other's throats over deciding where they will meet to exchange the children or whether one can alter
a previously agreed upon drop off time than they will argue over important medical and educational decisions."
(Rosen 2007, p. 1)
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Ø
assist
all family members to negotiate the emotional and practical aspects of the
transition,
Ø
advocate
for the children’s best interests,
Ø
impress
upon parents the importance of regulating their behaviours,
Ø
facilitate
communication, understanding, and respect,
Ø
monitor
the family’s function and help resolve issues that come up on an ongoing
basis,
Ø
be an
impartial, informed resource for teachers, coaches, police officers, child
welfare investigators, and judges,
Ø
identify
the particular needs of a family and either provide services directly or provide
appropriate referrals and collaborations,
Ø
provide
coordination and cohesion among various professionals involved with the family,
and
Ø
avoid a
costly bilateral parenting assessment by facilitating the development and
implementation of a parenting arrangement that best meets the interests of the
family and the family members.
Parenting
coordination will help families move much more quickly from their hostile,
volatile situation to at the very least a functional “parallel parenting”
arrangement. Usually a co-operative environment will be achieved, and
potentially a collaborative one, which is really what children deserve.
Moderate
and Low Conflict Situations
When
working with families that are maintaining a moderate or low level of conflict a
parenting coordinator does most, and perhaps all, of the things listed above, but the
degree of involvement is less.
If
compared to what is applied to a physical injury, parenting coordination has the flexibility to
be like a cast, pins, and traction, or it can be like a simple tensor bandage,
and anything in between.
Generally,
when employed early, education and mediation will constitute the bulk of the
parenting coordination process. Periodically, many parents will reach an
impasse on a particular issue. Having a parenting coordinator in place to
make a decision in a timely and informed way can be a blessing. Without
this arbitration component in place, such impasses either go unresolved, a judge
who is unfamiliar with the family makes a decision, or the parents
manipulatively get what they want whenever they can. Each of these
alternatives leads to increased animosity and conflict.
High
Conflict Intact Families
While
parenting coordination is typically used for families that have separated, it
could be used in situations where there is high-conflict and the family is still
together. In such a situation, the parenting coordinator would work
collaboratively with the parents' individual and/or couple therapist(s).
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